We’ve started our boys on Star Wars. At first we tried to start them with Episodes 1, 2, and 3. but those episodes are really confusing, both for little kids and adults alike. (Why does Amidala fall for Anakin? Can someone please explain this to me?) And my five-year-old couldn’t stop asking questions after Episode 2. “Wait! He’s a good guy, but he kills families and children?” So my husband decided to go back to the first trilogy, but mostly they just watch Episode 4 over and over again. (For those who are dying to know, in the version we have, Greedo shoots first.) At this point, John can recap Episode 4 almost scene by scene.
Anyway, on Saturday the boys had friends over, and we watched it again. This may or may not have been at my prompting when it came down to either Star Wars or Cars. (Every single rainy day this spring we watched Cars…) Anyway, I decided to put together this helpful list.
12 Lessons I learned from watching Star Wars:
1. Nothing melts a woman’s heart like sarcastically referring to her as “your highness”. Do it repeatedly. Also, insult her as often as possible. Reverse psychology works like a charm on rebel leaders and princesses alike.
2. Learn how to pilot an airplane or spaceship. In the event of an apocalypse and/ or the empire deciding to shoot death missiles at your planet, you’ll be glad you did.
3. If you die, you’ll come back stronger. I’m pretty sure that only works for Jedi. So you might want to be careful with this one.
4. If you’re angry, don’t hesitate to kill everyone in sight. Even women as smart as Queen Amidala just can’t resist a bad boy.
5. Bad guys almost always wear uniforms and/or look slightly creepy. When good guys go bad, they also start wearing uniforms and looking creepy. Villains with headgear that looks like Hannibal Lector get bonus points. I think.
6. Magnetic forces can work for or against you. Proceed with caution. You may die, or you may get the opportunity to rescue a princess from kidnappers!
7. Choose your friends and business associates very carefully. Choose poorly and you’ll end up frozen in carbonite and locked away in a vault full of other people who also didn’t choose wisely.
8. Be wary of politicians and the politically minded. (Actually, I’m pretty sure this lesson is dead on.)
9. The easiest way to end a boring conversation is to shoot something. Ha! Try that one at your next boring Christmas party…
10. The best way to seduce a woman is to show her your flying fruit trick. She’ll swoon, and marry you in no time. All women love the flying fruit trick.
11. If you want everyone to think you’re extremely wise, your words you should scramble. Never mind Strunk and White; that book is outdated anyway, and doesn’t account for geniuses willing to think entirely outside the box!
12. Anger can be very destructive, and one should resist anger and hatred. With a little love and some light saber skills, you just might be able to save the galaxy from evil and hatred…
Feel free to add to the list!
*All pictures are from wikipedia.