Tiny Dogs, Serial Killers, and Sausage

Be forewarned. If you keep headless mannequins in your basement, I will take pictures…

Oh, how I love house hunting…

There are the great houses that vanish all too quickly, the great houses with some major flaw (like being directly under high-tension wires), the older homes in need of updates, the houses with inexplicable floor-plans, the listings that inaccurately list the number of rooms…  Then lastly, there are the houses that sit on the market forever and no one quite knows why.  We’ve been seeing a LOT of those houses.  Sometimes there’s only one odd thing or we’re just not sure.  (Certainly no homeowner is going to tell you if the basement is wet; it’s up to you to smell and/or find the mold.)  Other times every single thing about the house is just off.

We were at exactly such a house the other day.  The owner was following my husband around like white on rice, but that left me free to look around.  And in one of the many basement closets, I find a door, literally, a locked door within the basement closet.  I call my husband over and move to open the door, but the owner comes over and tells me not to.  He claims that his cousin lives in there.  I say, “Can’t we just knock first?”, but the owner is emphatic that we don’t open the door.  Very very weird.  Who has their cousin live in the basement when there are three empty bedrooms on the second floor?

The house was really big, and really cheap for the amount of space, but I’m convinced that secret room is the reason.  There’s probably some sort of discount for houses where serial killers live.  And the ghosts come free!  (Actually, two people died in our current house, but we’ve never heard or seen them, probably because they died natural deaths.)  I doubt murdered people make for very benevolent ghosts.  Even though that house is huge, I just can’t do it.

The other tricky thing is the issue of school districts.  The district that’s known for having the best special education program (including a program for adult transition) is also in one of the most expensive areas.  Luckily for us, the market has taken an absolute beating, but it still feels weird to be looking in a neighborhood full of big houses, tiny dogs, and foreign luxury cars.

Four Things About Me:

1. I have a basset hound.  Bassett hounds are not tiny.

2. I’m originally from Michigan.

3. My dad is a plumber.

4. He would have a heart attack if we bought a foreign car.

Guess who will never fit in a neighborhood with big houses and tiny dogs?  Ugh.  It also pushes us further away from school, which is already a commute for me.  So, we continue to look in other districts even though we probably won’t buy in them.  I’m not sure if we should move now with the market at an all-time low or just wait until I’m done with school.

Would you buy a house that you thought was haunted and/or being sold to you by a serial killer?


For today’s recipe: Sausage and Garbanzo Beans

16 oz garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained

1 medium onion, chopped

16 oz Italian sausage

15 oz diced tomatoes with Italian herbs

3/4 cup red wine

Brown the sausage in a medium-sized frying pan.  Add tomatoes, beans, onion, and red wine.  Simmer over medium heat 12-15 minutes or until the sausage is cooked and the sauce is beginning to thicken.  We usually have this with a crusty bread or rice.  It’s super easy and tasty.

Sadly, I do not have any recipes for blood sausage…

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16 Responses to Tiny Dogs, Serial Killers, and Sausage

  1. El Guapo says:

    I’m very surprised that a homeowner trying to sell has rooms he won’t let prospective buyers look in. That sounds very…odd…
    If the school district is what you need, your new neighbors might find that your americancar and small dog are just what the place needed!

    Do you think the market will still be the same (with houses available in that district)?
    And now I feel like I’m being followed by Garbanzos.
    Damn legumes…

    • I would buy a haunted house (I think) but I’m not buying from a serial killer. I’ll just bet that secret room is full of meat freezers full of body parts and stuff. Just like the guy next to me has jars of eyeballs all over his house (I don’t know that for sure but he’s just creepy enough that it wouldn’t surprise me).

    • That made me laugh, Guap.

    • They are in fact following you… Either that or your post reminded me of this recipe. 🙂

      Our real estate agent found it really odd too, and I’ll bet they see all sorts of things in that business… I wish I knew what was going to happen with the housing market. Some of these houses are listed at 40% less than they were at six years ago! Of course, we are mostly looking in the opposite direction from the city, and that helps.

  2. ChrisP says:

    Now most certainly is the time to buy if you have the ability.There’s certainly a ton to choose from.
    Alot of times houses sit because the owner won’t settle for a price they’re gonna spend the difference on in a years time with a mortgage payment..in other words they’re stubborn lol

    I would consider a house with that kind of history but it better be a kickass location and have a sensible floor plan.

    • Yeah, sometimes it’s that, although the carrying costs are a huge disincentive. You might want 10,000 more, but taxes are so ridiculous here that you lose anywhere from 500-$1500 every month you sit on the market. Other times I think the seller is lukewarm, and doesn’t really care about “selling and retiring to Florida”.

      We have seen some of the wackiest floor plans this time around. My personal favorite was the one with three separate staircases to the basement, which had been divided up for their three adult children (whom they must hate because there were plenty of bedrooms upstairs). And that basement was the most disgusting basement I’ve ever seen. Hopelessly wet, ugly, dark, and moldy.

  3. sybaritica says:

    LOL … nice post. Good recipe too 🙂

  4. bookjunkie says:

    OH I’ve had 2 Basset Hounds. They are so loving. I loved you blog.

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