And Sometimes I’m Naughty…

When my middle child was two, we traveled out of state to visit a friend. She had only met John once before, and this time she was really struck by him. “He’s so cute!” she gushed, “And it’s a good thing, because if he wasn’t so cute, you’d probably kill him!”

Yep, that about sums up life with my youngest son. Adorable, charming, bright, stubborn, a born lawyer, and full of the devil; he actually has all of the traits I love in an adult, but in a six year-old these same traits are torture. And he delights in his own naughtiness; he always has. For that reason, Grandma decided to buy the Elf on the Shelf, to help remind him to be good.

At first we put the elf in the living room, but John claimed the elf couldn’t see him.  So we moved him to the kitchen, and again John claimed the elf couldn’t see him. Now here is a picture of the elf…


Our particular elf was a bit of a lush, and often found in the liquor cabinet.

Well, even with the elf sitting right there, John claimed the elf wasn’t looking.  And whatever room we moved him to, John would once again tell us he wasn’t looking! And it’s true. That darn elf didn’t help one bit. In fact, I think the two of them might have been in collusion…

For the last three years, we’ve let that stupid elf languish in our basement. Yep, don’t drink the Kool-Aid people. If you don’t already own the elf, save your money, and stick with Santa. I hear he takes bribes anyway…

Happy Holidays Folks!

The fact that he was way to fond of my tequila was only part of the reason he was banished...

The fact that he was way too fond of my tequila was only part of the reason he was banished…

*I am still wool-gathering.  So, although timely, I actually wrote this last year for the holidays.

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31 Responses to And Sometimes I’m Naughty…

  1. raeme67 says:

    Great post! Smart kid!

  2. Carrie Rubin says:

    I had never heard of the Elf on the Shelf until this year, and now I want one!

  3. Hahahaha! I like this kid. That elf on the shelf creeps me the heck out! Those eyes, that stare, it’s like having Hugo watch over your kid. And he hangs in the liquor cabinet? Oh, nooo!

    Then again, it might just be me. No, no, I think it’s the elf.

  4. OH, this post came at the perfect time. Not only did my son learn about the Newtown tragedy from the school’s cop yesterday (horrible enough in itself because I’ve been trying to shield him from the news) but the cop also told the kids about the Elf on a Shelf. Now my son wants one desperately, he even set up a little elf bed last night with a box and a blanket, hoping the elf would magically appear. So I checked into it. Apparently these things cost 30 BUCKS?! WHAT?!! The thing is ugly creepy and expensive? Great, just great.

    • I know. I think it was even more expensive four years ago when my mom bought it for us… but my mom is a Christmas fiend, and can’t resist Christmas products.

      I have tried to get my boys to tell us what they know about last Friday, and no one has been able. So, I’m hoping that means they know nothing.

  5. I won’t trust the looks of that elf anyway. Look at its eyes…

  6. La La says:

    SO funny! I want to be friends with him (someday. Don’t worry, I’m not creepy like that).

  7. FreshGreen says:

    I am so grateful that my kids were past the Elf on a Shelf phase when it came into vogue. I’m just not that dedicated to trickery

  8. iRuniBreathe says:

    That’s one sneaky elf, but it sounds like your kid has the upper hand in this one. I try to console myself by saying “it’s just a phase” and that things will change. But I forget that kids don’t really forget, and they keep getting *smarter.*

  9. southernbarbie says:

    Well I was planning to get the female Elf for my daughter but even she looks crazy.

  10. jimmydevious says:

    Yeaaaah I was fixing to say, this seemed VERY familiar to my brain. I suspected I was either havin’ Deja Vu all over again, or I had somehow stumbled back in time when I went to take care of number 1 business, and in lieu of a loo, I had actually found a way back in ti-…

    Err…you know what, I think i’m going to go with your explanation…it’s easier on my head. (Jack Daniels spiked Nogg, thanks for asking 😉 )

    Happy Post-End-Of-The-World Day, and Merry Christmas! 🙂

  11. I gotta say, I despise the Elf on a Shelf. Does that make me a Grinch? If so, I’m all in. I’m even considering writing poetry about my hatred of that creepy little perv, so look out.


  12. El Guapo says:

    I’m surprised. That elf looks like he has those creepy “always following me” eyes.

  13. Nina Badzin says:

    I’m still trying to figure out all this elf on the shelf stuff!!!

  14. Hahaha! That is hilarious. What a smart kiddo!

  15. Running from Hell with El says:

    I have a 6-year old just like that, and a similar distaste for the elf. Like your elf, ours ended up guzzling hard liquor (and I have the pictures somewhere on my blog to prove it, LOL).

  16. Lily says:

    I need to get myself one of those elves so I stay in line! Sounds like your son and I would get along swimmingly. Need a babysitter? I’m up for it! 😉

  17. lexiesnana says:

    My grankids Elf on a Shelf is at an AA meeting right now.thanks for the laughs.

  18. kidfos says:

    Still wool gathering? You’ll require some more sheep soon if you keep this up. The little elf seems to be my sort of mystical faerie creature, whats his stance on Rum?

    Probably prefers honey mead.

  19. Your son sounds like mine!

    Also, what is wood-gathering?

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